I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
