I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.