so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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