don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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