I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
