Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
