"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
