id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
