so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
