Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
