how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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