She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
