her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
