You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
