fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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