is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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