you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
