Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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