Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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