I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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