you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
