so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
