I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
