So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize