Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
