Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
