How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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