i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The Olympian is in my bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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