well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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