Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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