The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
