she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize