I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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