i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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