I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
