***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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