hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
