The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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