from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
