you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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