I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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