My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize