Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Randomize
