I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
