...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
