C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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