In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize