considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
