My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
