just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
