2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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