no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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