yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
