I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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