But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
