mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We need to rekindle our bromance
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize