Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
