Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
