Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize